Category Archives: General Interest

Tech Support Message

I don’t know the identity of the creative genius who came up with this. I got it from a friend. It’s just too good to not share.

Subject: Tech Support Message

Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2017 10:25:57 +0000 (UTC)

The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people’s love advice is hilarious and genius!

The query:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck!

Glenn

 

 

 

 

A different time and different place

I was in high school and college during the 1950’s.
Truly a different time and different place.

The Netherlands welcomes Trump in his own words

This is absolutely great! You’re gonna love this. The Dutch are making political humor great again. You had better watch this or you’re gonna get tweeted.

A tragic loss

December 26, 2016 8:10 AM EST

“SOCHI, Russia (AP) — Fragments of a plane were dragged out of the Black Sea on Monday amid a massive search operation as Russian officials declared that their investigation into the crash would focus on technical faults or pilot errors — not terrorism.

The plane was taking the Defense Ministry’s choir, the Alexandrov Ensemble, to perform at a New Year’s concert at Hemeimeem air base in Syria’s coastal province of Latakia. Despite the Syrian connection, Sokolov said the government saw no need to heighten security measures at Russian airports.”

A message from an unknown elder

1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

3. How to  prepare Tofu:
    a.  Throw it in the trash
    b.  Grill some meat

4. I just  did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

5. I don’t  mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than  men who mention it.

7. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. . .   I forgot where I was going with this.

11. I love being over 65. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.

12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

13. I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a  day.

14. November 6, 2016 was the end of Daylight Savings Time. Hope you didn’t forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.

15. Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

UK start-up unveils hydrogen car

A friend of mine in the UK, who has been a part of the project, just sent me an announcement that their prototype vehicle is now on the road and attracting lots of attention. For more details, go to the company website at http://riversimple.com/.

You Raise Me Up

These kids are truly amazing with their heart-warming rendition.