Canadians upset about US Wetbacks entering Canada

Some are accusing Canadians of being racist, or classist, or educationist, but  I think they are just afraid of being corrupted or having their cultural identity diluted by the influx of so many US yuppie liberals. –t.h.g.

From The Manitoba Herald

by Clive Runnels

Canadians: “Build a Damn Fence!”

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

“Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn’t give any milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves.” A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though.”

When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them.” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”

2 responses to “Canadians upset about US Wetbacks entering Canada

  1. Dear Americans, Come to Malaysia and apply for MM2H! Sell off all your assets in the US, withdraw from your version of EPF and borrow the maximum amount of banana money the US govt is printing and convert them into RM before the USD drops even more. (This is ironic : when we pegged the RM to the USD Americans were laughing at us calling us Banana Money.)

    You don’t have to pay your government back since it’s counterfeit money anyway that you borrowed. If you succeed in creating real equity with your Knowledge in Malaysia then maybe you can remit money back to your family back in the US via Western Union.

    Americans, you will need rm300,000 to prove you are a genuine applicant. Also, if you are still currently employed your chances are very high: keep your last 3 months’ pay slip. All monies brought in are, get this : TAX-FREE!

    Americans, you can then work as teachers and entrepreneurs: we can set up co-op schools, EAL / ESL centers, organic farms, training centers, etc. Malaysia will benefit from Knowledge Transfer in the STEM…oh, and erm arts majors can help a new industry : Green Revolution, Developed Nation Mentality, etc.

    Americans, you can contribute to Malaysia…have you read our Economic Transformation Plan? Find a way to utilize your skills to help the Malaysian economy…. that is, provided, if you can find us on the map!

    I’m personally only inviting about 50,000 US yuppie liberals. The Iranians are already here and are treated like first class citizens. So, I really don’t know how Malaysians will respond to Americans. Times have changed, times have changed. I guess Malaysians would expect Americans to treat us with the same respect and humility a typical Malaysian treats others with.

  2. Horton CBI brings in American and UK expatriates to work on the Kearl Oil Sands Project. They have been firing Canadians and continue to do so. The project managers making the decisions are David Gross (American) and Andrew Jenkins (UK). Their e-mail addresses are and Call the Canadian Immigration to complain. That is the only way to stop this kind of rediculous mismanagement of Canadian workers.

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